This might be the funniest real estate ad we’ve ever read


A Travel Guide to Birmingham, Alabama

We’ve seen eloquently written real estate ads for luxurious, quirky homes – long adjectives and perfect descriptions aplenty.

But we’ve never read anything like this listing for this Birmingham, Alabama home. To be fair, the copy alone would probably be enough to make us want to place a bid on this place.

Immediately described as “the perfect starter home to show your parents and friends that you have it together”, this home has two bedrooms and two bathrooms.

Never fear – the master suite is large enough in case you want to “avoid your guests” by hiding in there.

If you feel like socializing and entertaining, wander into the kitchen with granite countertops and “a large pantry perfect for storing your gluten-free Bisquick.” Score.

Take a look at the charming Birmingham home below:

Location is everything in the real estate this home has locked down. To begin with, the seller assures that “you will have no problem taking your steps in shape every day”.

The property is within walking distance of all the downtown shops, restaurants, and trendy workout spots (where you can “put your Lululemon and run it,” of course).

And if Birmingham itself didn’t already sound appealing, the seller promises the house offers enough outdoor space for you to enjoy at least “one of Birmingham’s three spring days”.

We’ll take three out of zero any day!

If the kids are part of your family, you’re in luck, because getting them to school will become infinitely easier since you’ll be within walking distance.

SEE ALSO: This Washington home is basically a giant balcony

This means that you can “simply launch [your kids] over the fence in the garden to get them there faster because you’re running behind because it’s hard to get a child ready in a timely manner.”

It should also be noted that the seller includes the warning not to throw children. Good move.

The house also has a giant basement for storage or finishing, so be sure to “tell your mom the house has a basement ‘in case of a storm’ and she’ll almost certainly nod in agreement. of approval”. You’re welcome, mom.

The house is on the market for $299,999.

See the full list in all its absurdity here.

Check out this other South Georgia home with some pretty interesting decor:

More information on AOL.com:
6,000 bottles of wine hang on the cellar wall of this Texas mansion
Secret passageways and a lazy river complete this Florida castle
You can live in a fancy 1920s castle in… a suburb of Cleveland?

Previous Shelby County gears up for second online-only property tax sale
Next How does broadband access affect the value of real estate? | Real estate | Seven days